Complacency & being busy

Today I have determined to begin writing on this thing everyday. There have just been too many things going on recently to be faithful to this blog. I haven't even checked my others in several days....priorities have changed and life has gotten in the way.

My husband had quite an experience with a high-line wire this past weekend. And, since he was not released to go back to work until Monday, we have had a much-needed week off doing absolutely nothing. Next week, though, life will start back up again with house cleaning, laundry, cooking, homework, baby preparations, etc.

We had a sonogram this past Tuesday, May 8th, and our little girl was almost 4 lbs at 30 weeks. We figured that if I carry her full term, she will be about 9 lbs by the time she's born. That is more than a little scary, I have to admit. I'm just praying right now that she will be early. My pain tolerance is one of the lowest of anyone I know, and childbirth, no matter how wonderful I'm told it will be, is probably the most painful thing I will go through in my entire life. This is quite scary.

I've been thinking about being a mom a lot lately, obviously. I just do not feel prepared for it. I don't think anyone can ever be fully prepared to be a parent. But I just feel so very much ill-prepared. I am a very obsessive-compulsive, organized person, and this feeling of inadequacy and unpreparedness is scary and frustrating. It is such a huge responsibility: a whole life that is completely dependent upon you and your resources and wisdom. Granted, that's where a husband comes in handy...he can help, too, but there is just so much that we won't know until we actually experience it. Well, the unpreparedness and the knowledge of how little sleep I am fixing to get...that's what is scary. I don't function well on little sleep.