As I sit here, holding my insomniac newborn, feeding her and praying that tonight she will sleep, my mind starts to wander. I am attempting to conjure up some song that would come close to being appropriate to sing to her to lull her off into dream land. Alas, it is not forthcoming. But, it does make me think of my dad. Growing up, Dad would lull me off into dream land many a night with his, and others', songs on the guitar. I would lie awake at night listening to him play "Amarillo By Morning", "Silver Wings", "Tequila Sunrise" and many more....so proud that my dad was such a fantastic musician, and even early on, feeling so inadequate and unworthy as his daughter.
I remember a certain family reunion in Los Alamos, New Mexico: we had a talent show and Dad was playing and singing in it and I was supposed to play some piano something. Dad played right before I did and he sang a song that he wrote when I was little about me. Needless to say, I couldn't stay in the room. It is a fantastic song, but to this day, I cannot listen to it because it makes me feel so unworthy to be his daughter...like such a bad daughter because I know I've disappointed him and Mom sooooo many times. To this day, especially now that I no longer live with them, listening to him play and sing makes me cry. I love it! I love listening to him...it's just...I don't know. Something about it.
Someday I hope to come up with a song to sing to my little girl to help her go to sleep. Mom sang "Country Roads" to me; maybe I should learn it. Until then, I'll hum whatever is in my head and remember...
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Well, 8 days after the last post on here, the 28th of June, our baby girl made her appearance. She was 2.5 weeks early, but my doctor thought it was about time for her to come out. She was a beautiful, and big, 7lb 5 oz, 21.5in long. Unfortunately, or fortunately, she has lots of dark hair, just like her daddy. Everybody keeps asking if she'll end up with red hair like me...I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
It's weird having a new baby in the house. It's weird having another person in the house. Part of me really misses it being just us, but I know that having her here will be such a blessing. We just have to get through the rough, days and nights switched, no sleep period before I can fully appreciate her being that blessing.
On another note, it's really hard to keep house when you're not used to having to look after somebody else all day long. I baby sat when I was younger, but not a whole lot. I changed my first diaper the day we got home from the hospital. I'm figuring out that I'm not such the sound sleeper I thought I was. :)
Anyway, hope all is well in blog land. I'll leave you with this picture of us:
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