Marriage

It truly breaks my heart to see people struggling in their marriages. I have been so blessed with a great marriage. Arguments are few and far between and they are always resolved!

I don't, however, understand the need for some people to argue. It's like they get energy off of it. Then, running away is never the answer. Granted, a cooling-off period might be necessary, but never for more than a couple of hours.

I just want to help. I want to sit down with them and make them talk and work it out. I know it's not my place and that all I can really do is pray for them, it's just frustrating. Marriage should be enjoyable. Of course there will be arguments and of course it's hard work, but it is a union blessed by God and therefore should be a joyous occasion.

I guess I'm just rambling. I just wish I could help...

Doctors

"Dear hubby" went back to the burn unit today for a check-up. All looks good. They said the burn was so deep that normally they would do a skin graft, but since it was such a small wound, it wasn't really worth going through surgery for. But, as it is, they had to burn off these small bubbles of cells that were trying to push through from the bottom to start the skin growing back. They used silver nitrate, and he said he could feel it in the bottom of his foot. I can't imagine what it felt like...burning skin off again of a burn. But, he goes back again next week for another check-up. They said it could take up to 2 months to fully heal. Apparently burns are always the slowest to heal. I guess it's because of the severity of the wound.

I go back to the doctor this next week. I'm ready for another check-up. These false labor contractions are getting old, really quickly. I'm ready to know just exactly what to do and how to know if I'm really in labor or not. It's slightly scary being an hour from the hospital. But, I'm sure everything will be fine.

Friends

Growing up, we moved a lot. About every 3 years or so, Dad would change jobs and we would pack up and head off. I always said it bothered me, but looking back, it really did make me a stronger person. Granted, I have never had really close friends, but the friends I have have been good ones. My husband, on the other hand, lived in the same town, with the same people for 16 years. That is just insane to me. I think I inherited my dad's restless spirit when it comes to moving. We've been in our apartment since the 1st of February, but I'm beginning to get bored and wanting to try something new.

Moving has not hurt me, though. It has forced me to not get too comfortable in one place because it can all change in an instant. It has, I think, made me more appreciative of family and of the unique bond between family members. It has also made me much more appreciative of the friends I do have. Being married has been an interesting challenge for me. I now have a best friend whom I can talk to about anything and can share all of life's experiences with. But as far as "girl friends" go, it's been difficult. We are each other's best friends, and married friends or outside friends just don't seem quite as important. They are, no doubt about it, it's just a difference in priorities, I suppose. We got involved in this newlywed Bible study last semester and it has really been good for us. Apart from us growing stronger in our walk with Christ through the studies, we have made some fantastic friends. Unfortunately for us, they are all from Arizona and all plan to return after graduation. Last night, eating and watching basketball with them made me remember how fleeting happiness is, and how quickly things can change.

Growing up is hard. I sure do wish there were an easier way to learn these lessons...

Spurs v Suns

My husband has gotten really into the NBA playoffs that are happening right now. And, to me surprise, I have really started to enjoy them. I have always been put off by the NBA simply because my family has never enjoyed it. College basketball and high school basketball have always outweighed the NBA. I never knew why, just knew that's how it was. But, watching the Spurs and the Suns has gotten me intrigued. I think it just makes me miss playing and watching basketball on a regular basis. It was such a fun time for me, no matter how awful I was at it!

Watching game videos the week after, running and learning new plays, shooting threes and free throws...playing defense was always my favorite. There was something about guarding someone else and not letting them beat you that got my blood pumping. I was good at defense. The offensive side of the game always eluded me, but I loved getting in someone's face.

Let's just hope the Spurs pull it off. It's not looking good at the moment, but we still have another half to play before Game 6...

New arrivals and rainy days

Today has been an almost lazy day. The weather is perfect - overcast, thunder & lightening, showers...my kind of day. Rainy weather has always had the opposite effect on me as on most people. My favorite days are the ones where it's pouring outside and you can curl up on the couch with a good book or an old Audrey Hepburn movie and relax. It's a soothing kind of day.

After the craziness of the last few weeks, today was much needed. I did homework, made some bread, rearranged some furniture, and just kind of took it easy. Although, I am currently doing a couple of loads of laundry that are totally compiled of baby clothes and accessories. It is an odd feeling, seeing the dryer full of little onesies and pink/green sheets. A lady that works with my husband has been pushing me to go ahead and get a bag ready because her first one was 6 weeks early. That is a very scary thought for me. So, today, I decided I'll go ahead and get a bag ready...just in case.

Boy am I ready for the little miss to get here so I can quit all this worrying about when she's coming.

Not so good at this thing.

So, as you may have noticed, I'm not so good at writing on this thing everyday like I planned to. This is ridiculous.

Mother's Day was yesterday and we went to my parents'. It was nice to be able to get away from this apartment, see all of my dad's family, and just relax for a little while. Unfortunately, my husband was not feeling well at all. After his little high-line wire accident, his foot has begun bothering him as the nerves and tissue begin growing back, as well as his dislocated shoulder. That combined with the pain medication made him a ticking time bomb yesterday and he was just ready to be home, I think.

Moms are, obviously, very important. I cannot begin to describe how important my mother is to me. In the last couple of years, she and I have grown much closer. I think it's simply part of the maturing process. I can talk to her about anything and I am forever calling her with stupid questions that I can't seem to figure out on my own. She is becoming my best friend, which is what I always wanted. Granted, she's still my mom and will always have that commanding presence when it comes to the "mom stuff", but she's much more than that now and I don't know where I'd be without her. Well, there is a whole lot more that could be said about my mother, but I think we'll leave it at that. She's one of the most important people in the world to me, and I could never thank her enough for the example she's been over the years.

Thanks, Mom. I love you!

Complacency & being busy

Today I have determined to begin writing on this thing everyday. There have just been too many things going on recently to be faithful to this blog. I haven't even checked my others in several days....priorities have changed and life has gotten in the way.

My husband had quite an experience with a high-line wire this past weekend. And, since he was not released to go back to work until Monday, we have had a much-needed week off doing absolutely nothing. Next week, though, life will start back up again with house cleaning, laundry, cooking, homework, baby preparations, etc.

We had a sonogram this past Tuesday, May 8th, and our little girl was almost 4 lbs at 30 weeks. We figured that if I carry her full term, she will be about 9 lbs by the time she's born. That is more than a little scary, I have to admit. I'm just praying right now that she will be early. My pain tolerance is one of the lowest of anyone I know, and childbirth, no matter how wonderful I'm told it will be, is probably the most painful thing I will go through in my entire life. This is quite scary.

I've been thinking about being a mom a lot lately, obviously. I just do not feel prepared for it. I don't think anyone can ever be fully prepared to be a parent. But I just feel so very much ill-prepared. I am a very obsessive-compulsive, organized person, and this feeling of inadequacy and unpreparedness is scary and frustrating. It is such a huge responsibility: a whole life that is completely dependent upon you and your resources and wisdom. Granted, that's where a husband comes in handy...he can help, too, but there is just so much that we won't know until we actually experience it. Well, the unpreparedness and the knowledge of how little sleep I am fixing to get...that's what is scary. I don't function well on little sleep.